My two associates and I are currently engaged in a friendly literary competition of sorts. Not against each other, but against ourselves individually. Each of us is writing his/her own novel, with predetermined goals along the way. If any particular goal (mostly based on word counts) is not met, the other two writers will come up with a punishment for the offender. We're brilliant, I know, and by all indications, this should be a stimulating and enjoyable enterprise. Unfortunately for me, I can't seem to stop procrastinating. My characters are crying out to be liberated from the prison of my mind and be delivered unto their sweet salvation on the printed page (Damn, I'm good). But all I can do is chow down on cheesy doodles and watch my stories. Curse you, "Destilando Amor"! My distress is ever greater when I think of the dreadful retribution that my friends will doubtlessly have in store for me if I should fail. Indeed, they are cruel and crafty bitches. How I can resist my urge to be completely worthless and embrace the writer within?
Clueless Calligrapher in Cardiff
Ay, Clueless Calli. in Cardiff:
You can’t. Just give up… Just get your shit together, bitch. Although you hid it well, it’s clear that you know you’re good. I, of course, don’t know who you are, but I’m going to guess that you have a B.A. in English Writing and Rhetoric. Probably with a specialization in Creative Writing. If that is indeed the case, there’s a good chance you’ve considered/are considering a career as a writer. You do understand that as a writer you need to write, don’t you? Now don’t get me wrong; I understand how addictive “Destilando Amor” is. I’ve never missed an episode. (Have you ever seen “Puta, Ese Es Mi Pollo!”? It’s a true work of art.) However, as important as your stories may be, perhaps you can work them around your writing schedule. I assume you already have your plot and characters. All you need to do now is write. Do you want to do this “friendly literary competition”? Do you want to write this story? If so, do it. I’m sorry I can’t help you more, but this is your thing. No one can get it done but you. Good luck, and if you finish the story, be sure to give me credit by naming your first born child after me.
You can’t. Just give up… Just get your shit together, bitch. Although you hid it well, it’s clear that you know you’re good. I, of course, don’t know who you are, but I’m going to guess that you have a B.A. in English Writing and Rhetoric. Probably with a specialization in Creative Writing. If that is indeed the case, there’s a good chance you’ve considered/are considering a career as a writer. You do understand that as a writer you need to write, don’t you? Now don’t get me wrong; I understand how addictive “Destilando Amor” is. I’ve never missed an episode. (Have you ever seen “Puta, Ese Es Mi Pollo!”? It’s a true work of art.) However, as important as your stories may be, perhaps you can work them around your writing schedule. I assume you already have your plot and characters. All you need to do now is write. Do you want to do this “friendly literary competition”? Do you want to write this story? If so, do it. I’m sorry I can’t help you more, but this is your thing. No one can get it done but you. Good luck, and if you finish the story, be sure to give me credit by naming your first born child after me.
