Free your fictionality!

Yo, AJ:

     I'm a fictional character who has recently become self-aware. What can I do to escape my writer's clutches and gain control of my own life?

                                                                                                                Micah

Ay, Micah:

     You should take your fictionality out into the real world. Set aside a day or two to experience new things. Perhaps a hookah lounge. Or a karaoke bar. Ooh, a party! Go to a party! Depending on your age, the mall might be appropriate. Actually, if you’re loosely based on anyone, while you’re at the mall, you and your writer might consider buying the person that you share personality traits with new shoes or something. A few other things I suggest: watch Pinocchio (after all, he managed to become a real boy), wrestle a bear, find a nice fictional lady (or gentleman, if that’s what floats your boat) with whom to get yo fictional mack on, drink a gallon of milk, kill a man.