Punch your best friend.

Yo, AJ:

     I’m a writer; I think I’m pretty good at it. Even if I’m not, I don’t care. I love to do it. Anyway, I haven’t been able to write anything decent in the past few weeks. I’m not sure how to get past this writer's block. Any suggestions?
                               
                                                                                                Pentastrophe in Oregon.

Ay, Pentastrophe:

     If I’m going to help you write again, you’d better be good. I’d hate to think that I’m helping to bring crappy literature into the world. In my own experience, I work best off of pain. Perhaps there isn’t enough drama in your life. Try punching your best friend. If you can’t get any good material from that, run over your neighbor's dog. If you’re weird and don’t want to do that because you like dogs, sleep with your neighbor's husband. Extra drama points If you’re both straight men. Okay, really, before you can fix a problem, the problem has to be identified. What might be causing your writer’s block? Is it creative? Are you dealing with a major life issue? (e.g., pet goldfish died, your kleptomaniac boy/girlfriend that showered you with presents daily dumped you, you finally found out that they’ve disowned Pluto as a planet.) Whatever it may be, find the issue and deal with it. If all else fails, just write about vampires. Even if it sucks, it’ll still make you famous.